none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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