I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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