I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
