The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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