Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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