Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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