My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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