Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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