I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
