We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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