its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
