we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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