You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
