Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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