id be glad to
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
