just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
