remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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