Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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