I wannas sexs uuuuu
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
