We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
