You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
