My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
