He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
