I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
