I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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