i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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