Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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