Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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