i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
