you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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