after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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