plz talk dirty to me
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
