my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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