dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
