Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
