yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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