C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
