I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
pray to the hookup gods
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
