thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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