I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
