there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
