then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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