Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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