So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
