chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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