Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im having a threesome with these popsicles
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
she told me i tasted like america
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
