i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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