i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
