This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
