I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
